Sure, I can lay there for awhile. Yeah, I pass out cold for a few hours. But then, after I get, oh, a miraculous three or four hours of sleep, I am wide awake again, and ready to alphabetize my junk mail, or clean grout with a toothbrush, or maybe I'll rewire that pesky phone jack!!
The one thing I DON'T want to do, however, is go to work. I still feel the same lazy, depressive feeling when I think about my job. Who wants to go make what now amounts to chicken feed for all the bullshit I put up with? I am becoming bitter. I will most likely quit in January.
I have a lot of dreams of what I will do in January. None of them even come close to realistic goals. There is sleeping in (which is very high up there, if I could sleep at all!), having time to think, being able to write freely and more frequently, going to a few classes, and keeping my house clean.
I'm trying to save funds now so that I can truely live out my dream of psuedo-laziness, but I've got insane amounts of bills that continue to prevent that. I've come to a point where I realize I have a shopping addiction, a full-fledged, undeniable shopping addiction. One that has now caused me to bounce checks. One that is slowly eating away at my savings. One that is giving me a high debt-to-income ratio. This leads me to feel more depressed, but since I am NOT shopping, what do I do? I eat. So now, I am not just battling a shopping addiction, but an eating addiction too.
Why can't I just smoke cigarrettes? They're equally as bad for your health, and your wallet. At least I'd be skinny.
Hopefully, I'll have all these problems resolved in the next few month so I can finally pursue my dream of being a professional starving artist.